When Worlds Collide
by Titansgirl-otherstuff
Summary: Co-authored with Shadow Talon Girl. Funny drabble, you'll all enjoy it! p.s., if you can think of a better title after you read chapter 1, pm us IMMEDIATELY!


**Chapter 1**

**A/N: Hello Twi-hard's of fanfiction! This is your newest writers of Twilight and we will be posting several humor stories! By the way, this story has been co-authored with my sissy, Shadow Tallon Girl. **_**You missplelled "Talon".**_** You misspelled "misspelled"! (The things in italics are hers.) **_**You could at least say "Sissy's". You know I don't like being referred to as "her".**_** Stop interjecting! Anyway, this is our humor story on what would happen if all of the members of the book series found out they were in a book! 0_0 Confusing, huh? It'll make more sense if you read!**

_**Just so you know, titansgirl-otherstuff wrote most of this, but if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be able to read a lot of it.**_

**Yeah Right!**

_**It is, isn't it?**_

**Hate you. Okay, now read forth…people who read…forth…**

Edward, Bella, and Renesmee were just walking into the house from their cottage. The smell of sawdust was in the air and everyone was zooming up and down the stairs occasionally, too fast to notice with human eyes. (Sorry it's lame so far, Katrina, but I'm just trying to get the main idea out. Erase this part.)

"What's going on?" Bella asked, setting Renesmee on the couch next to Jacob, who was web surfing on a laptop, and following Edward up stairs.

"Emmet broke the wall." He explained with a wide grin.

"Uhhh…" she began, "do I want to know what happened?"

"Probably not." Edward said, as they reached the construction area where everyone was busy taking down a wall with a huge whole in it.

"Vampires with power tools. I should write a book." Bella joked.

"Bella, say that again." Jacob called from downstairs in a shocked voice.

"Vampires with power tools?"

"The next part." He explained. By now everyone had stopped working and was being quiet.

"I should write a book?" Bella asked, confused.

"Are you sure you didn't already?" he asked, and with the blink of an eye, everyone had abandoned their jobs and was downstairs.

"What are you talking about, Jacob? The longest thing I've ever written was an essay!" she defended.

"Oh, yeah? Than who's Stephanie Meyer?"

"Stephanie…what?" she asked.

"I was just surfing the web and found the New York Times Bestseller list and there was this book on it called 'Twilight'. I checked out the description and…" (10 minutes later after Jacob explains the book series) "So, basically, it's everything about you guys from when Bella moved to Forks up until…well…now."

"WHAT?" everyone shouted.

"They've actually made them into movies. Well, up until 'Breaking Dawn', which is gonna be a two-parter starting with you and Edward's marriage."

"WHAT?"

"I know! I mean, who is this Stephanie chick, stealing our lives!"

"Well there's that," Edward said, "and the fact that EVERYONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS ABOUT VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES!"

"Well _I'm_ not _technically_ a werewolf, now am I Edward?" Jacob said smugly. Edward hissed and glared at him. "Besides, it's a _fiction_ book, so no one really believes it…well…except Twi-hards."

"Except Twi-what's?" Rosalie asked confused.

"That's the fan name for anyone obsessed with the series." Edward said, pulling the words from Jacob's mind.

"But still, how'd she find out about us? Does she even use our real names?" Alice asked.

"YES! As far as I can tell, it's _exactly_ like our real lives!" Jacob yelled.

"I say we locate this Stephanie chick and…" began Rosalie.

"Rip her head off?" Emmet suggested.

The room rippled with shrugs, 'why not's and 'sure, sounds fun's, when Bella interjected "We can't do that!"

"Why not?" Jacob complained.

"Because…well…wait, aren't you supposed to be the _protector_ of human life?"

"Yeah, but I never get to rip up vampires and…I get bored!"

"Pardon me for finding that offensive…But we still can't!" Bella said. Emmet cussed under his breath and everyone else sighed sadly.

"Bella, you suck sometimes." Emmet said.

"Oh! They also made a movie called 'Vampires Suck'!" Jacob screamed. "Who wants to see the trailer?"

Everyone hissed at him, but he pressed play anyway.

By the end of the trailer, Jacob was in hysterics, Renesmee was covering her eyes, and all the others were standing behind Jacob wishing they didn't desperately want to laugh.

"Contract?" Edward said smirking when Jacob stopped laughing.

"Chihuahua?" Bella added also with a smirk.

"Hey at least my fans defend me! I didn't see any leach lovers hitting someone with a shovel!" He said, stifling they remains of his laughter.

Finally, everyone began laughing.

"Okay, this isn't so bad. At least everyone thinks we're fictional! I mean, what's the harm in…" Jasper began.

"Seeing the movies?" Jacob asked excitedly.

"I was going to say let Stephanie Meyer live."

"Awww come ooooon guys!" Jacob pleaded. "What's wrong with a little fun?" He asked, almost literally giving the puppy dog eyes.

Bella sighed. "I'll go to Blockbuster."

"I'll check if they have midnight showings for Eclipse!" Jacob said excitedly.

"I'll take Renesmee to Charlie's." Edward said.

"I'll stay with you!" Renesmee said.

"No…that's probably not a good idea." Edward said.

"Fine." She said pouting.

"And after we see the normal movies, we are sooooo seeing Vampires Suck!" Jacob called after Bella, Edward and Renesmee.

Everyone groaned, but went back to fixing the wall.

….One hour later….

Edward and Bella had returned and the wall was fixed, so they put in the first movies and sat down in the living room, Jacob with a gargantuan bowl of popcorn.

The movie began and ended, Edward cringing at everything he did wrong around Bella, and the others looking at them, their faces a mixture of astonishment and déjà vu, at several parts. The second movie did the same and then they all drove to Seattle to see Eclipse.

The movie ended around 3:00 and Jacob somehow dragged them all into the theatre showing Vampires Suck, laughing louder than anyone else in the theatre.

….After the movies….

They were all walking out of the theatre when a little girl pulled away from her mom's hand and ran towards them.

"Mommy, look! It's that boy you have a poster of over your bed! Only this one's not wearing lipstick!" she called, jumping up and down and pointing at Edward.

"No it's…*gasp* Robert Pattinson! I'm a HUGE fan! What are you all doing here in Seattle?" she asked blushing as she took her daughter's hand again.

"Please, call me Edward." He said grinning.

"Mom, what are you-*SCREAM*! IT'S TAYLOR LAUTNER!" the woman's teenage daughter screamed running towards Jacob. About half of the theatre's female population turned around and screamed, running towards Jacob like ants to a flame. **(A/N: sissy made me put the ants thing 0_0)**

The girls, and a few guys, attacked them and everyone slipped away and ran to the car. Well…except for Jacob, who stayed signing autographs, howling for the fans, and letting all the girls feel his biceps.

When they all reached the car, they noticed Jacob's absence and Edward groaned as he jogged back over to pull him away by his ear.

"Wait! I left my shirt!" Jacob complained. The crowd overheard this and ran to his shirt, almost literally clawing each others' eyes out for it. "On second thought, they can have it."

"Good boy." Edward said smirking after he tossed him into the back seat and slid into the middle row next to Bella. They had to drive all the way out of the parking lot before the screaming fans let go of the back of their car.

**Stories are like cake. They're sweet and soft and you just love them!**

**Reviews are like ice cream. They're yummy, my favorite thing in the world, and go great with cake! Or in this case, stories. **

**Now that you've read that, you have to review or we might as well send you a rappin' rabid rabbit!**

_**0_0… Btw, how long did it take you to come up with that cake thing, or did you just get it from a different story?**_

**I made it up! And it only took, like, 5 minutes! So there! (That oughtta show her.) Anyways, review and we'll update sooner! It only gets better!**


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